The American Academy of Pediatrics and many other
professional organizations are strongly opposed to spanking. All children
need discipline on hundreds of occasions but there are alternatives to
spanking. Redirecting (distracting) the child, taking away a privilege, or
sending a child to his or her room are some of the other ways to discipline.
We can raise children to be agreeable, responsible, productive adults
without ever spanking them.
What are the reasons not to
spank?
There are several good arguments for not spanking. Spanking
carries the risk of an angry chain-reaction that sometimes ends in child
abuse. Also, spanking makes aggressive behavior worse because it teaches a
child to lash out when he or she is angry. Other forms of discipline can be
more constructive, leaving a child with some sense of guilt and help them
form a conscience. Parents who turn to spanking as a last resort for
"breaking their child's will" usually find that they have underestimated
their child's will.
Also consider the legal argument. If physical punishment
were directed against another adult, it would be called assault and battery
and that's illegal. Currently most European countries, Israel, Japan and
many others prohibit physical punishment of children by law. Physical
punishment by school staff is illegal in all countries except the United
States and South Africa. On the brighter side it is currently prohibited by
the State Board of Education in 37 out of 50 states.
What are the safety rules for
physical punishment?
It is preferred that you not use spanking to discipline your
child. Less than 50% of American parents still use some physical punishment
in child rearing. It's gradually becoming less socially acceptable to spank.
So if you have not changed your mind after reading these facts, please
follow these safety guidelines:
- Always use other techniques (such as time-out) first.
Only use spanking for behaviors that are dangerous or deliberately defiant
of your instructions.
- Hit only with an open hand. It is difficult to judge how
hard you are hitting your child if you hit him or her with an object other
than your hand. Paddles and belts may cause bruises. Spanking should never
leave more than temporary redness of the skin.
- Hit only on the buttocks, legs, or hands. Hitting a
child on the face is demeaning as well as dangerous. In fact, slapping the
face is inappropriate at any age. Your child could suddenly turn his head
and the slap could damage his vision or hearing.
- Give only one swat. That's enough to change behavior.
Spanking your child more than once may relieve your anger but will
probably not teach your child anything else.
- Don't spank children less than 18 months old. Spanking
is absolutely inappropriate before your child has learned to walk.
Spanking should be unnecessary after the age of 6 years. After that you
should be able to discuss problems with your child.
- Because of the serious risk of causing blood clots on
the brain, never shake any young child.
- Use spanking no more than once a day. The more your
child is spanked, the less effect it will have.
- Learn alternatives to spanking. Isolating a child in a
corner or bedroom for a time-out can be very effective. Learn how to use
other forms of discipline. Spanking should never be the main form of
discipline a child receives.
- Never spank your child when you are out of control,
scared, or drinking. A few parents can't stop hitting their child once
they start. They can't control their rage. They must learn to walk away
from their children and never use physical punishment. They should seek
help for themselves from Parents Anonymous or other self-help groups.
- Do not spank your child for aggressive misbehavior, such
as biting, hitting, or kicking. This teaches a child that it is all right
for a bigger person to hit a smaller person. Aggressive children need to
be taught restraint and self-control. They respond best to time-outs,
which give them an opportunity to think about the pain they have caused.
If you are not using time-outs, read more on how to make them work for
you.
- Do not allow baby sitters, child care staff, and
teachers to spank your children.
