Attending day care for the first time can be very
upsetting for your child and maybe even for you. The
security of familiar surroundings is left behind, and
replaced by new faces and new activities. Some children may
take longer than others to adjust.
The following tips can help you and your child adapt
positively to the child care experience:
Infant/Toddler (0 to 3 years)
Start by having someone come into your home to care for
your child for a short period of time while you busy
yourself with other activities in your home.
Next, leave your home for short periods of time.
Gradually build up to the amount of time you will be gone
during a typical day.
Let your baby get used to being with other people. Spend
time visiting friends with children as well as other
places children and adults are likely to be.
Remain with your child part or all of the first day or so
of child care.
If child care is provided outside the home, give your
little one a familiar toy or object to take along for
security.
Preschool age (3 to 6 years)
Get to know the facility and caregiver(s) before your
child starts the program. This helps you answer your
child's questions and lessens last-minute "surprises."
Visit the home or center with your child before
enrollment. Let your child become acquainted with
the new environment by observing and then participating
at his or her own pace.
You and your child might select a photograph of family
members or pets to tuck into a pocket while at
child care.
Your child may wish to take along a favorite toy or
stuffed animal for comfort.
Tell your child where you will be and what you will be
doing while your child is busy in day care.
Be explicit about transportation plans. This reduces
your child's fears about being abandoned.
Act secure and confident even if you feel apprehensive.
Your appearance of calm is contagious, and will help
reassure your child.
At the day care home or center, do not try to sneak away
while your child is preoccupied. Your child will learn
not to trust you if you do. Instead, make your good-byes
short, cheerful, and visible.
Expect tears initially. It is natural for your child to
burst into tears when you leave or return.
Talk to your child's caregiver about how you can both
help your child adjust.
Allow plenty of time for your child to adapt to the new
rhythms and routines. If your child continues to be
unhappy after a month or so, something is wrong and you
may need to consider other child care or job
alternatives.
Reading books together about other children's experiences
at child care or nursery school can uncover unspoken
feelings and expectations and thus help prepare for the
experience.
Each day, ask your child about his day, and talk about
high points as well as anxieties.
Try not to make too big a fuss over your child's first
day. Accept it as a planned, natural part of your
family's life.
Even after being involved in child care or preschool for a
while, children sometimes resist going. A small change
in the daily routine may help. For example, in
two-parent families have the other parent accompany your
child or plan a special treat upon return or at the end
of the week. If problems continue, talk to the
caregiver(s).
