Family violence is a major problem. Violence
in the home affects children in many ways. It can often
affect how children do in school, their relationships, and
their emotional development. Children are hurt simply by
seeing or hearing violence in their homes. Abused or abusive
adults are often not able to properly care for children.
What is adult
family violence?
It is any violent behavior between adults in
the home. Problem behaviors include:
- biting
- grabbing
- hitting
- kicking
- name calling
- pushing
- slapping
- threatening with a weapon
- throwing things.
Family violence often exists along with alcohol or drug
abuse. Usually the victims of violence are women. However,
both men and women can be abusers and both can be victims.
How does
family violence affect children?
Seeing violence between trusted adults has a
greater effect on a child's development than television and
movies ever could. Witnessing family violence can have an
even greater negative effect than on children than being the
victim of abuse themselves. Even if children do not see it,
they may hear it. And even if they can't hear it, they will
always feel the effects of
violence in their home. They may hear about the violence
from adults talking about it. They may see how the violence
affects their parents. They may be caught in the crossfire
or victims of violence themselves. Children in violent homes
are at increased risk for serious physical and sexual abuse.
Children are
never safe from family violence.
The way that violence affects children
depends, in part, on how severe the violence is and how
often it happens. It also depends on how well parents are
able to love and care for the children. Being a loving
parent is often hard for both the adult victim and the
abuser.
Even infants can sense something is wrong.
Babies may have problems in feeding, play, and other daily
activities. They may get fussier. The fussiness can increase
an infant's own risk of being a target of violence.
Child-rearing problems may be one cause of violence between
adults. For example, arguing about who should change diapers
may lead to a fight.
Older children may imitate the violence they
see. Some children become aggressive, cruel, disobedient,
and destructive. Other children keep their feelings inside.
They may become sad, anxious, fearful, or withdrawn.
Violence between adults can also lead to violence between
siblings. Children in violent homes have poor impulse
control and poor self-esteem. They have a hard time getting
along with other children and do not do as well in school.
Teens from violent homes take more risks
than other teens and may become violent adults.
How can
children be protected from family violence?
There is only one way to protect children:
The violence must stop.
- The abuser may need to enter a
treatment program.
- The adult victim (usually female) and
the children may have to leave the abuser (usually
male). Community family violence shelters can help
create a plan for both the adult victim and the
children. See the yellow pages for referral numbers.
- Children may need to be evaluated and
treated. Adult victims often need treatment as well.
If there is violence in your home, call your child's health
care provider's office for help in stopping it. In case of
emergency, call the police or go to the hospital.
