Children Physically Fighting with Each Other
Two children are angry with each other and hitting, kicking,
or shoving. This is not wrestling. In wrestling, children
are not angry with each other but are practicing their
physical skills. Wrestling is fine as long as it's done
outside or in a recreation room and the opponents are
reasonably well-matched.
The rule
"Don't fight with each other, because disagreements can't
be settled by hitting."
While you can have a rule against fighting in your home
and yard, you can't control what goes on in the
neighborhood or school. Some parents teach their
children to fight (but fight fair). Another option is to
teach your child to say, "I don't believe in fighting,"
and to walk away from aggressors. Although the chance of
being seriously hurt in a fight is slim, it can happen.
Sometimes it's better to be smart than to be brave. Most
disagreements can be settled with words, and most bullies
can be ignored. You don't have to teach your child
physical defense.
Discipline technique
Intervene at the early shoving stage. Separate the
children without questioning the children. Send both to
time-out in separate rooms or separate corners. Another
option is to send one child outside. When appropriate,
remove the object of conflict, such as use of the TV.
Praise
Praise your child for playing with other children in a
friendly way and for settling verbal disagreements
themselves.
Model
Solve problems without hitting or yelling. Spouse abuse
condones physical fighting among children. Also avoid
favoritism, which contributes to sibling fighting.
Spitting
The rule
"Don't spit. It doesn't look nice."
Discipline technique
If your child spits on another person, use immediate
time-out. If your child spits for attention-seeking
purposes, restrict the places where it is permitted (such
as in the toilet, sink, or outdoors). If your child
spits anywhere else, place him or her in time-out.
Praise
Praise your child for not spitting in situations where he
or she previously spit.
Model
Don't spit yourself. Take a position against chewing
(smokeless) tobacco.
