Friends take time and energy--both of which is in short supply after you become a parent. Most new parents find the demands of parenting affect the number and intensity of friendships they can sustain, especially during the baby's first couple of years. Good friends--including those who do not have children themselves--will support your decision to take good care of yourself and will not place any demands on you when you are learning how to manage being a new parent.

Hints for dealing with friends

• Be sensitive to how much "baby talk" your friends want to hear and don't overdose them.

• Don't ask for too much help with your baby from friends. Those who have no children may not understand your needs.

• Set time limits on social occasions. Your baby may be up and ready to eat at 6:00 AM the next morning!

• Listen to your friends and be a friend to them whenever you have the time and energy. As usual, the best prescription is, "if you want to have a friend, be one."

• Never assume your baby is invited to a social occasion. Always check first.
   

Hints for dealing with isolation

After 3 months of taking care of a new baby, most new mothers feel lonely and isolated.

If you are feeling isolated:

• Recognize that almost every mother has some feeling of being trapped about this time and also wonders if the rest of her life is going to be a routine of bottles, dirty diapers, and lack of sleep.

• Join a parenting support group. It helps to talk with other parents.

• Find friends who also have small children. Playgroups for babies are a good place to meet other moms and dads.