Working parents spend a lot of energy trying to make up for
their absence from their children. Research has shown that both the quality
and quantity of time parents spend with their children are important.
If you interact with your child, actively listening to him,
talking with him, and keeping it pleasant, that's quality time. Children need
some quality time with their parents every day.
You can turn scattered moments during a typical day into
quality time by following these guidelines:
- Talk with your child during the drive to and from
child-care.
- Include your child in adult activities such as shopping,
cooking, and home repair. As long as your make him feel important or even
helpful, you are giving your child quality time.
- When you first get home from work, try to snuggle with
your kids for 5 minutes. (Giving them the first 30 minutes, as some experts
suggest, is usually impractical unless you are breast-feeding.) Then give
them something to do and look after yourself. You probably had a more
stressful day than they did, and you may need to regroup, as well as prepare
dinner.
- Make dinner a pleasant, unhurried time with the TV off.
- Use the 30 minutes before bedtime to discuss your child's
day with him, at his pace. End with your usual bedtime ritual.
If you're providing some of this quality contact every day,
you're doing great.
A common mistake of working parents is to think that bed
sharing is quality time. This isn't a good choice. If your child is asleep in
your bed, we could call this neutral time. If your child is awake and crying,
it's aggravating time. If you want to provide extra quality time with your
child, set aside some special half days on the weekend for child-centered
activities.